tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2475899717745412592024-03-12T17:57:07.561-07:00WEIRD TWISTED STUFFsnehil3http://www.blogger.com/profile/04081565340338357918noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-247589971774541259.post-86713056170527129112010-08-04T04:20:00.000-07:002010-09-08T01:29:04.560-07:00SOUL CURRY<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4paOIvhgniI/TFlTfaiIOTI/AAAAAAAAAIo/tpPRLMXxu3c/s1600/soul+curry.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 306px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4paOIvhgniI/TFlTfaiIOTI/AAAAAAAAAIo/tpPRLMXxu3c/s320/soul+curry.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501520218973288754" border="0" /></a><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: verdana;">SOUL CURRY</span><br />
<span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" ><br />
<br />
I grew up in Lucknow. It’s the capital of Uttar Pradesh and is well on its way to become the next metropolitan (but that’s another story). You know here in the big city ie; Mumbai , I was quite not comfortable telling this to people for a while , when ever I used to tell them “ I am from Lucknow” I would get more or less the same reply from the list of these common replies or I may say Exclamations…<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">1. OH Lucknow Gaon (Village) Se ho…. (Its has everything a metro should has , you asshole!!! :x )<br />
<br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Oh to behen ji ke Rajya se ho… ( I didn’t vote for her :X )<br />
<br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. OH lucknow Ke Nawab !!! ( Yaa Asshole ,my pot belly , and womanizing tendencies might have prompted that too you !!! :x)<br />
<br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">4. Crime to bahut hai na waha pe… (Yaa, FYI , Babies are born with a gun in their hand in Lucknow !!!! )<br />
<br />
</span><br />
<br />
At first I was upset with such reactions, but with time I learned to live with them, now I just go along with people…….<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Me – “Yaa, life was really tough in Lucknow; It was nothing but a barren wasteland with concrete parks and Mayawati statues all around… Every morning my mom would send my dad to work at the mines with a just a lunch box full of kebabs and paratha , and some whisky to go with , on his way to work he used to drop me at the “Criminal school” , you could clearly see that I wasn’t that good at school , or I would have mugged you ,right here right now. Anyway, as I was saying there are no roads, no parking lots, the infrastructure sucks , you know we had to park our Merc’s and Bentley’s in on the road whenever we went to Mc’donalds for a Happy meal.”<br />
<br />
<br />
</span><br />
Generally by the time I am finished the other fellow has registered in the back of his mind NOT to ask this question again.<br />
<br />
<br />
See now I have taken a stand for my city and myself, it was not like this always, I think those self help books are finally starting to make a difference.<br />
<br />
<br />
Yes I read them, YOU CAN WIN, CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL etcetera etcetera , the list is endless , each of these books tells you to be happy , to reinforce positive thinking, no matter how bad things go , they tell you to look at it in a positive way like…..<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Positive me – “Hey everybody (looking out of the window) , well I guess we are gonna have ourselves a nuclear holocaust :D , OH HEY EVERYBODY COME UP TO THE WINDOW !!!! :D ……………. Look at that Mushroom Cloud….. :D , ………..aint that beautiful…..and and … the amazing thing to me is that…… something so magnificent…….so colorful ……… could just………..,………………Melt your Face right off !!!!” :D :D :D<br />
<br />
<br />
</span><br />
See that’s Positive Energy , you Gotta look death right in the Face ……..thats what the positive me would do…..<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Positive Me - “Oh Hiii Mr. Death , You look like you can Use Some Soup……”:D :D</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I wanna be like that man , Imagine If you could actually be that Happy, that would be Powerful , People would be tunneling under the street to AVOID YOU ……<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Man 1 – “Go…. GO…away man , Is the Happy Guy still Out there….???” <br />
<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Man 2 - (On ph.)… HONEY, LOOKS LIKE I AM GONNA BE LATE AGAIN ,…… NAHHH…. IT’S THE HAPPY GUY, HE IS RIGHT BESIDE THE CAR,I CANT GET NEAR IT !!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
</span><br />
Well if I wanted to be this happy, I just have to forget about all my problems. And the only time I forget all my problems, is when I am right in the middle of an Orgasm…. So I try to have them as often as I can …. I am having one right now…. You see this is my only escape, Sure I can go on a vacation, but I will still be thinking what I am gonna do when I come home, see for me … an Orgasm is like…………. <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“a MINI VACATION….”</span> , but its better because you cant think about anything while you are having one… for 30 seconds you are free….<br />
<br />
Hmmm , talk about problems , everyone has them , big ,small, fat , short , all types.. dry , messy … u know , but whatever kind , a problem is problem ….<br />
Me ??? I worry about the weirdest and stupidest things…. Like for example “what if you found out that YOUR MOM AND DAD went to Hell??”. You will be running all around thinking ….<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“THEY TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNOW…OH MY GOD I EVEN LOOK LIKE THEM!!!!!”</span><br />
<br />
Off course my mom would drive the devil crazy, if she ever went to hell..(but that’s another topic, gotta stick to the point , yes !!! the point …… Okk even m not sure what the point is……).<br />
<br />
Anyway, talking about Hell, makes you wonder if heaven and hell are real, may there is no such place as hell , Maybe hell is Sitting in an AC bus with chicken Pox, having to share the seat with a fat guy with whom you have to arm wrestle the whole way for the hand rest , and watching <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“AAP KA SUROOR” and “JHOOM BARABAR JHOOM”</span> Back to back…..(I still get shivers when I remember that day)…. Burning in hell would be better off I think…..<br />
<br />
Here is another scary thought … Getting OLD … you know the stage of the human body where you cant do Cartwheels , lift heavy weights , Party all Night , when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night, and by the time you are ready to do it , your partner has already dozed off…. (I know its an old PJ….. but nobody can cry “plagiarism” for using it… he he … I RULE!!!) .<br />
<br />
Frankly speaking , I don’t want be that old, I d rather die, I don’t want to be in that stage of life when taking a piss would seem like going to war. Have you seen old people??? , Off course I am not talking about your sweet 70-80 year old grandma, who gives you sweets every now and then, but I am talking about the one’s over 90 and who are not willing to let go….. you are like a baby.. you have no sense of what’s going on ??? You cant recognize your own sons and daughters , coz you your head is all screwed up, u poop and piss all day long and lets face it u are no longer as cute as a baby , so the one cleaning up after you isn’t really happy , they are probably doing it ,so that you leave them something out of your Will.<br />
<br />
Life of an old person is boring , you sit all day in your room , if you are lucky enough , you have a TV , or not , Sometimes you get occasional visitors , whom you don’t wanna let go off at any cost . When I meet such people , I realize how far back they have to reach back to remember their days of glory…..and they will tell you these stories while chewing god knows what … it will make a sound like this Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom….. you are getting what I mean…..<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“nom nom nom nom “ Remember……..Remember , how fast I used to be , when I was a SPERM!!!! , I ll never forget the day of the Big race , (nom nom nom nom) …..THERE WERE MILLIONS of us in the field………. BUT I BEAT THEM ALL…. To fertilize that egg Mister!!!! , Back in the Cervix I was SEMEN 1st CLASS !!!</span>”</span> <span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" ><br />
<br />
<br />
That is why I keep challenging myself , so that I have some interesting stories to tell when I am an old geezer ,like the one above. I try my hands on a lot of things , and I try to be Happy about ,it to stick by them , what ever may be the outcome, no matter how many times Anyone tells me…<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“MISTER , YOU ARE WRONG !!!!</span>”<br />
<br />
<br />
I just cover up my ears and stand by the decision I have taken , the side I have picked up.....that shows ‘CHARACTER’ , its about being rock solid on what I you believe in, and not giving up until you have accomplished it….<br />
Lets take the father of our nation Mahatma Gandhi as an example, you would never see Gandhi sneaking into the Kitchen at night while he was on a hunger strike……<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">LORD MOUNTBATTEN – Gandhi, what are you doing down here at the kitchen this late???</span></span> <span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" ><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">MAHATMA GANDHI – (looking nonchalant) OH, I thought I heard a prowler ……………….and I was Going to hit him on his head with this Large Bowl of Potato salad. </span><br />
<br />
See….. he wouldn’t put him self in such a situation, when he said HUNGER STRIKE … he meant it. Another thing that we need to take a stand is , that we need to be calm and composed ,whatever maybe the situation we shouldn’t loose our cool….like take Jesus For example, Jesus maintained his composure ,that tranquil state of mind even when he was being Crucified….i mean if I was there in place of Jesus , I would be like……<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">OH !!! THIS HURTS ,, NO , NO NOT IN THE WRISTS ….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHH!!!!..... OH MAN !! THIS IS JUST BEAUTIFUL !!!!!, GREAT !!!!!!,sob sob …………. YOU GUYS ARE GONNA GET IT (whimper) ………….WAIT TILL MY DAD HEARS ABOUT IT !!!!</span><br />
<br />
There would be a whole different book then…….<br />
<br />
But In the Midst of all that calmness and tranquil ness there are some times when I get those weird impulses, you know the ones I am talking about , it like when your best friend in the whole wide world is standing next to you talking and the thought comes to your mind……<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“MY GOODNESS…….. I CAN JUST FIRE AT HIM AND HIT HIM IN THE FACE …….HE LL NEVER EXPECT IT”</span><br />
<br />
But you don’t , you don’t fall to the impulse, you control it , its that control that keeps a man in the world of Sane and away from the world of the mentally deranged……<br />
<br />
“<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">SHOULD I STICK MY HAND INTO THAT RUNNING FAN , OR SHOULD I JUST TURN BACK AND LEAVE???”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">“SHOULD I SLIT MY TONGUE WITH THIS RAZOR BLADE , OR SHOULD I JUST FINISH SHAVING AND MOVE AWAY FROM THE SINK???” </span> </span><br />
<br />
COME ON MAN ..just do it…. Its there ,the tongue, the razor, then why not do it ??? its that small voice in our head that keeps us SANE… that tells us….<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“oh no no no, turning the car in the direction of oncoming traffic is COUNTERPRODUCTIVE !!!!” </span><br />
<br />
Its that voice in your head that stops you from doing crazy stuff, if it weren’t there we would be apologizing to each other all day long….<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“OH HII THERE!!!!”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">[WHACKKKKK!!!!] </span></span> <span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" ><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“Oh I am so sorry, I just felt like doing it when a saw your face….” </span><br />
<br />
I think 15 out of 20 of the worst impulses that we get are when we are driving, so that’s why I don’t think it is a good idea to carry a GUN in the GLOVE COMPARTMENT ,coz chances are if it’s there ,sooner or later you are going to use it .<br />
<br />
“But off course , What are you going to do if somebody just cuts you off on the Highway ,just let them go ? , you will very much have to shoot them you know , otherwise they won’t learn nothing….” :P<br />
<br />
Or you can always race them, cut them, block them , pull them out of their car, and Bruce lee/Jackie chan on their asses, but be sure you know Marshal arts before you try something like this, otherwise you are going to make a fool of yourself. Seriously , Out of many things that annoy me, one is people who haven’t mastered the technique but are Grand masters when it comes to showing off their karate….<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“HEY THERE , I JUST LEARNED THIS COOL NEW MOVE IN KARATE, I WILL STAND LIKE THIS WITH THIS COOL DEFENSIVE STANCE ,AND YOU COME RUNNING TOWARDS ME WITH TRYING TO STRIKE ME…. </span><br />
<br />
Yes Asshole…. Can I do anything else to make it easier for you maybe I can make an arrow over my eyes which says “POKE HERE” and yell…..<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“HEY , I AM A MUGGER , KICK ME IN THE GROIN , AND POKE MY EYES OUT!!!!”</span><br />
<br />
Or maybe I can put my head below the back wheel of your car…<br />
<br />
I am pretty sure this is how it goes down on the streets…<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">MUGGER – “GIVE ME YOUR MONEY !!!”</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">The MARSHAL ART GUY – NO !!!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">MUGGER- “Alright then , I am gonna have to stab ya, with my right hand in a lunging Fashion, try to keep your weight on your Back Leg , So you can Tackle me….” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">WHAT WORLD IS THIS ??? WHAT WONDERFUL WORLD!!!! </span><br />
<br />
Well all this wont be necessary, if we would learn to communicate properly, now communication isn’t all that easy as it sounds… ME??? Personally I am a very poor at communicating when it comes to one on one Basis..<br />
<br />
Normally when I meet a person I say “HI , HOW ARE YOU ?”<br />
<br />
To which people generally reply as “I AM FINE ,THANK YOU”<br />
<br />
But sometimes they just surprise you , <span style="font-weight: bold;">“I HAVE NO DREAM MAN , WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH MY LIFE ????” </span><br />
<br />
Its times like these when my mind says <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">“WRONG ANSWER PAL!!! BUT THANK YOU FOR PLAYING !!!! BYE BYE !!! ” </span><br />
<br />
But damn the small voice in my head , I stay , and I say “And , Why do you Feel So ???”, and the story of begins…. , where I have to mindlessly nod and say ‘uh huh’, ‘ok ..and then’ to as to how the other person has Screwed up his/her life…. What I don’t understand “WHY ARE THEY TELLING ME THIS ???” <br />
<br />
Then sometimes some people are so used to hearing “HI HOW ARE YOU !!!” that when a person says ….“HIIII” , they automatically say “ HII , I AM FINE !!!” , so what happens is that the conversation goes nowhere, and they are stuck with that small hissing voice in their head…..<br />
<br />
“He thinks you are stupid……………. he is going to tell everybody……………..Kill Him, KILL HIMMM!!!!!”<br />
<br />
<br />
And So, before you start hearing a small voice in your head that will tell you….<br />
<br />
“This Snehil Guy has been at this ‘Soul Curry’ for So long now , I cant take it any more … kill Him … KILL HIMMMM!!!!!”<br />
<br />
I d like to say …… THE END ….. !!!! :P<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</span><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B0015DROBO&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B002Y27P3M&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B003XKPPOU&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B002FQJT3Q&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B003KUSUG8&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B0036EH3XE&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B003L77TZI&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B002M9WW30&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B0021L8V1Q&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B002LVUX1W&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B002N5N5M0&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=w04288-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000JQU1VS&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align:left;padding-top:5px;width:131px;height:245px;padding-right:10px;"align="left" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe>snehil3http://www.blogger.com/profile/04081565340338357918noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-247589971774541259.post-58431716323594483122010-06-22T04:07:00.000-07:002010-06-23T00:36:54.372-07:00Why Disney SUCKS !!!!<span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;"><br />Ever since i was a kid , i have been watching Disney movies which always showed us an animated world ,full of dashing heroes......, beautiful princesses.... and lovable sidekicks. In that world Everyone prances around joyfully and carefree and spontaneously burst's into songs and dances every once in a while just to have fun.<br /><br />If you're a good person, a happy ending complete with riches and true love is pretty much guaranteed. Death is apparently uncommon, at least on screen. Evil doers will get whats coming to them and everything always works out in the end.<br /><br />Life will be good Right ?? , but there is a Flip Side to this .....what if you get a choice to live in that world... ? would you ?? i wont...that's for sure.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Why It Would Suck ??</span></span><br /><br />In the Disney universe animals talk, which at first looks like good fun. When you're feeling lonely or rejected by your fellow humans, you can always find an animal sidekick to provide conversation, keep you company or at least entertain you with their funny antics. Crickets give you goal-setting advice and adorable fish become your best friends. And even animals that apparently can't talk can still help you out with household tasks, like the birds that help make a dress in Cinderella.<br /><br />Which makes it all the harder when it comes time to eat them.<br /><br />Yes, with every animal around you potentially being a fully conscious, thinking being, any animal product or service used by humans would involve murder, harassment or in the very least slave labor.<br /><br />Want to enjoy some seafood? Then you'd better be OK with listening to Sebastian, the crab from The Little Mermaid, crying in his suffocated English while going all the way down your throat. Merely milking a cow will count as sexual harassment.<br /><br />So you are member of PETA , and also a Vegan ??? hmmmm.. that wont help either, because in this universe, inanimate objects can also be enchanted humans in disguise. Want to throw a cup at your prince after he comes home from another long night of "saving princesses," the stink of "magic potion" wafting from his crotch? Now you've shattered Ms. Teapot's son, you killer. Oh well, maybe he'll make you feel better by building a romantic fire with that old Talking tree he just cut.....<br /><br />Everything you use to live, work, create a comfortable life and sustain yourself likely talks, wisecracks, gives out 'sage wisdom' and most certainly will scream their asses off when you take a hatchet to them. That mosquito you just swatted had hopes and dreams. The flower you just picked for your princess just found out it was accepted to Harvard, YOU KILLED IT !!!! </span><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;">You BASTARD!!!!</span>snehil3http://www.blogger.com/profile/04081565340338357918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-247589971774541259.post-91043280330326211952010-05-27T21:45:00.000-07:002010-05-27T22:05:17.727-07:00How to Commit Suicide …. With Style…<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Csnail%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:2014914617; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:253637970 1204445462 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-tab-stop:21.75pt; mso-level-number-position:left; margin-left:21.75pt; text-indent:-.25in;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Some matter is inappropriate for readers below 18 , so reader discretion is advised.
<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">
<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Suicide !!! </span><i style="font-weight: bold;">dictionary. definition</i><span style="font-weight: bold;">. “The act of killing oneself is called suicide”</span>.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Now a days suicide is done for many reasons, ie; reasons other than “taking one’s lives” , off course none of these suicide attempts are seen to the end by the committer , they are basically committed or attempted by teenagers to threaten family members or boyfriends/girlfriends<span style=""> </span>into agreeing to one’s point of views , whatever happened to the heart to heart between parents and kids about the “Generation Gap”, periods , Hitting puberty , Proper Drug Abuse Etc etc.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Here the reason isn’t important, what’s important is , if you wanna kill yourself , do it in style, go as the Awesome person you always wanted to be (at which u failed ,probably that’s y u r committing suicide) , rather than the wimp u really are…<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >I am listing here some ways to kill yourself with style….</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 21.75pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="">1.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">EAT A BATHTUB FULL OF BEANS </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Awesomeness – 4<span style=""> </span>Manliness – 8<span style=""> </span>Style - 2<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>Mess – 9<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">What you need - 1 Bathtub full of Beans , You (you have to be there) , a spoon </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Its as simple as the title is , just sit in the bathtub filled with beans<span style=""> </span>, and dig in until you have finished it all , Now one thingeven a child of 5 know’s about beans is that , “Beans give you Gas” , so until and unless you are not blessed with the “golden colon of the gods” , you will probably shit yourself before the tub is even half empty , But the trick is too keep eating , what bad is a lil self gravy with the beans, I assure you that if you try this you will surely die of disgust if not from the bloating that the beans and overeating is gonna cause. It’s a sureshot way to go, it just leaves behind a awful lot of mess to clean up for the family and friends,… OH wait ,,.. who am I kiddin ??, only family , u don’t have any friends…<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >PS- keep a glass of water<span style=""> </span>handy , you don’t wanna die by choking on a bean , it may look like an accident and all your efforts of committing a cool suicide will go down the drain. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. STRANGLE YOURSELF</span><o:p style="font-weight: bold;"></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""> </span>Awesomeness – 8<span style=""> </span>Manliness – 8<span style=""> </span>Style – 3<span style=""> </span>Mess – 1<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"> What you need – Balls</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""> </span>This one is very simple<span style=""> </span>yet very complicated, <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""> </span>Step 1 – Grab your Throat<span style=""> </span>with your own hands.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""> </span>Step 2 – Apply pressure on the windpipe.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >As awesome as this technique can be , it can also cause you a lot of<span style=""> </span>embarrassment infront of the medic who will revive you every time he finds you passed out in your own drool, in event of an failed attempt , keep this up for a few more times and maybe the medic will choke you out of irritation.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 3.75pt; font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >3. SUFFOCATING YOURSELF<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Awesomeness – 9<span style=""> </span>Manliness – 3<span style=""> </span>Style - 7 <span style=""> </span>Mess - 0<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">What do you need – A pillow and you , and a lot of will power.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Step 1 – Cover up your mouth and nose with the pillow.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Step 2 – Now try and hold your breathe.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Step 3 – If you are reading this step, You have most probably failed, please repeat the above two steps.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >4. RAZOR BLADE <span style=""> </span>– <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Awesomeness – 8<span style=""> </span>Manliness – 2<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>Style – 2<span style=""> </span>Mess – 7 <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >(Warning – Do not attempt If you are Haemophobic.)<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">What You need – A Razor Blade (the bigger the better)</span><span style=""><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Simple , take a blade , slit your wrists, then call up everyone you would wanna dedicate ur suicide to and wait for the darkness to slowly creep in, WAKE UP YOU PUSSY , Slitting wrists is gonna get you no where , Emo people and teenage girls slit wrists to get attention from their boyfriends and parents , maybe friends, its like a status symbol to them, a FAD these days,<span style=""> </span>have u heard the conversations teenagers have at sleepovers these days ? “ You noe the last tym a slit my wrist Blah blah …” , “ this was my 5<sup>th</sup> tym, they got me that new car this tym….” Oh comon Be a Man , The Man and in some cases the Woman with the courage to take your own life.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >The mantra here is “it's down the highway, not across the street” , Next tym you wanna Cut yourself remember to do it properly , Just take the razor blade , stick it up ur neck and , OFF WITH THE HEAD , and if you cant do that<span style=""> </span>,, remember a slit Across the THROAT is much more effective that a slit across the Wrists. <span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >5. THE SILVER LINING – (THE Chocolate method)<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Awesomeness – 12<span style=""> </span>Manliness – 10<span style=""> </span>Style – 8<span style=""> </span>Mess – 8<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">What you need - 2 Chocolate Filled KIndell or Cadbury eggs. , An Ice cream Scooper</span><span style=""><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >First Scoop Your Eyes out with the Icecream Scooper , Replace them with Cadbury Chocolate Eggs , Then Using Anyone of the Above methods Kill yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Why I call it the silver lining ??, umm becoz by the end of this , you Family members will find you dead, This represents the Dark Cloud, but Nonetheless there is chocolate in your eyes, and everyone loves chocolate, that’s the silver lining , </span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Why disappoint your loved ones with plain old boring eyes, when you can surprise them with chocolate instead? I bet the Kids will Love it, Try it around Any festival.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >6 . HEADBUTT THE SIDE WALK / WALL <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Awesomeness – 7<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>Manliness – 8<span style=""> </span>Style – 6<span style=""> </span>Mess – 15 <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">What you need – A sidewalk or A wall</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >It’s the simplest trick in the book, can be performed anywhere , whether you are outdoor or indoor all you have to do is find a sidewalk or a wall, and headbutt it until you pass out or you die, well whichever comes first, don’t worry even if you pass out ,chances are that you will die from loss of blood , and if somehow you survived your landlord or mom will surely kill you for ruining her Wallpaper from blood stains.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >7 . THE COST EFFECTIVE METHOD <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Awesomeness – 3<span style=""> </span>Manliness – 2<span style=""> </span>Style – 4<span style=""> </span>Mess – 25 <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">What You need – A HOOKER , 0.75 </span><st1:country-region style="font-weight: bold;" st="on"><st1:place st="on">US</st1:place></st1:country-region><span style="font-weight: bold;">$ / INR 50 ( This is my assumption /fr real rates visit your local ‘Red light’ Area.)</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >This one is for people who wanna commit suicide, but are not in a big hurry to go about it. All you have to do is find a Hooker and ask her to let you lick her ass, if you are lucky enough, she might let you do it for free, cause practically this isn’t an act of sex, Anyway even if she charges you , I am ‘and I put stress here, I am Just ASSUMING this’ that it will cost you a measly 75 cents only , Anyway now that you have done the act , go home and relax , and wait , it will be a matter of weeks only when you will surrounded by the majority of STD’s, Gonorrhea, Herpes, Syphilis , And if you are Lucky enough ‘AIDS’ , This is gonna be really really messy … But then at such low cost how could you not afford to Kill yourself ??<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >8 . THE INDIRECT METHOD <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Awesomeness – 11<span style=""> </span>Manliness – 5<span style=""> </span>Style – 5-10<span style=""> </span>MESS – 1-25(sky is the limit :P)<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">What You Need – ‘A Reason’ </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Almost anyone can fall under the category for this kind of suicide Attention Seekers, scorned lovers, a frustuated<span style=""> </span>Employee, A Fed Up wife/Husband the list is endless.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >The process is simple, choose a target .most probably a person who has made your life not worth living, due to which you are gonna commit suicide, but then you know <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">“To err is Human , To Forgive is just Plain Stupid”</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >So why not take with you the person who is responsible for your condition, its so simple , kill the person who has made your life hell , and then if you also feel like dying ,call the cops and tell them where you have hid the corpse. This technique is not a successful suicidal technique , becoz 90 % of the commiters quit after the 1<sup>st</sup> stage, ie; after killing the pain of their life, I wonder why?? Anyway if you are in the rest of 10 % then be sure to be brutal in the killing (u noe cold blooded murder) as it will attract more media attention , and give you your 15 minutes of FAME before Dying ,See killing two stones wid one Bird,, or was it the other way around.???? Hmmm I Wonder…… <span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >Remember ,it’s Your Suicide , Make it special….. :D<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" >HAVE A NICE DAY !!! </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Wingdings;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="">:)
<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer - All Methods , listed here are just for entertainment purposes, and should not be tried at home or without supervision , however if you are more serious regarding your suicide then follow this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_methods , and remember you did not get this link from me. Okk Bye
<br /><span style=";font-family:Wingdings;font-size:10pt;" ><span style=""></span></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> snehil3http://www.blogger.com/profile/04081565340338357918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-247589971774541259.post-71910942735504350222010-05-23T22:51:00.000-07:002010-08-04T04:45:31.519-07:00The TRUTH of 26/11...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4paOIvhgniI/TFlSpr8l7zI/AAAAAAAAAIg/ToioEHe94FE/s1600/2611.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 211px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4paOIvhgniI/TFlSpr8l7zI/AAAAAAAAAIg/ToioEHe94FE/s320/2611.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501519295934754610" border="0" /></a>
<br />
<br /><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Csnail%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place" downloadurl="http://www.5iantlavalamp.com/"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City" downloadurl="http://www.5iamas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10pt;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">2008 - Kasab At training camp .....</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Commander</span> - Kasab , Allah always looks after his martyrs, u get 72 virgins * , and a place in paradise in your after life... So die now, now !!!,and live in the afterlife.......
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kasab ( dazed)</span> - Ahhh....
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Commander ( whispering in background) </span>- 72 virgins<span style="font-weight: bold;">*</span>..... kasab.... nt 1 nt 2 nt 3 ... 72 *....
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">*Conditions apply , offer validity subject to availability of virgins....</span>
<br />
<br />
<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">26 /11 2008 Mumbai streets 8:30 PM</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(Heavy firing goin on near Taj )....</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> (Kasab's and his frnd surrounded by Indian commandoes...)</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kasab -</span> we are out numbered saeed ..... what do we do now..
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">saeed </span>- Nuthin , jst fight and die... i cant wait to die, with the "50 Virgins" waiting for me....
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">KAsab </span>- WTF !!! they told me there will be 72 virgins !!!!
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Now Kasab senses something Fishy ..</span>..
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Saeed </span>- WELL THE MORE THE BETTER ...YAY !!!
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kasab </span>- Dude , dont YOU SEE THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG HERE , Y WUD THEY LIE ABOUT THE NUMBER OF VIRGINS...... WAT IF THERE ARE NO VIGINS OR 11 VIRGINS.....OR MAYBE 1 ....
<br />
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">BOOMMMMMM a car nearby goes off.. and the burning wada pav hits saeed in the eye...</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Saeed - </span>M hit , M hit , .......... "Hey this tastes Gud, am i already in paradise ??" .. wait let me find allah to claim my 72 virgins... :D
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kasab </span>- No u Motherfucker , u r nt dead , JST GET UR ASS BEHIND TAT CAB....
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Saeed (lost in the heavenly taste of wada pav )</span> - ALLAH , I HAVE COME , I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY ACHIEVED MARTYRDOM , I WANT MY 72 VIRGINS.... AHHHHHHHHH ....... (a bullet goes thru His heart)**....
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Saeed </span>- AHHHHHHHGHHH !!!! m Dying KASAB ... MAN M DYING ..... THIS FUCKING HURTS MAN !!! AHHHH KASAB DUDE ... DO SOMETHING .... THIS IS SO FUCKING PAINFUL...... !!!!!!
<br />
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">kASAB</span> - SAEED BHAI , Please Save some Virgins For me...... BAM !!!! shoots him in the head...
<br />
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">**[sometimes i wonder if these ppl even have a heart , bt then i realize that a guy doin all this for 72 virgins must have a heart , i mean ajay devgan picked up a gun for some heroine .. and the movi was named "DILWALE " ]</span>
<br />
<br />
<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<br />
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MUMBAI STREETS 26/11 2008 9:30 PM</span>
<br />
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Firing GOIN one.. KAsab is the only one left .. he is on the Run GTA style...</span>
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> calls up his commander ...</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Commander</span> - Wailekum aaslam
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kasab </span>- Aaslam Wailekum Bhaijan ....
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Commander</span> - Luks like <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">ur</st1:place></st1:city> are Enjoying urself kid... like the video games u kno....
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kasab</span> - Totally , umm commander , there seems to be a confusion between the number of Virgins.. ?? how many are we exactly entitled too.... ???
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Commander - </span>Kid u r doing Islam A favor , U r dying For <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">ur</st1:place></st1:city> country , Does it really matter how many Virgins r there ? Kid ALLAH takes care of all the martyrs... ...
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kasab -</span> This is important Commander !!! Yes the number of virgins matter , So WILL U PLEASE NT FUCK WID ME AND TELL ME THE REAL NUMBER, DNT YOU LIE TO A DYING MAN OR U WILL BURN IN HELL !!!!
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Commander -</span> ummm ... ahem ... luk Kasab ....child ... there have been many Martydoms these days ... and you noe How it is .... i mean i cant promise u anything on the Number of Virgins...
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kasab -</span> WTF !!! ... U TELLING ME THIS NOW .... WAT ABOUT MY ASSOCIATES..... ??
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Commander </span>- Well they Died Before you ... So They may have gotten watevr virgins may be left....
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">KASAB -</span> FUCK THIS SHIT ... M SURRENDERING .....!!!! Drops the Call
<br />
<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Next Mornings News Ppr-</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"HEROIC INDIAN COMMANDOES SUCESSFULLY DETAINED PAKISTANI TERRORIST !!! "</span>
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Related Story and list of medal to be distributed on pg 13 .</span>
<br />
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">END .... is it....?? :P</span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer - This is entirely a piece of Fiction and should be taken in a light hearted sense , there is no intention of hurting anyone's religious sentiments or disgracing the sacrifice of the Indian commandos and the people who died in the 26 /11 attacks...</span>
<br /><!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<br /><!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></p> snehil3http://www.blogger.com/profile/04081565340338357918noreply@blogger.com5